Friday, December 11, 2009

The Purpose and Value of Labor Support

Below is the essay I submitted to DONA last year, as part of my certification. Enjoy!

The Purpose and Value of Labor Support

by Nicole Imes


As I thought about how to address the question of this essay, many things ran through my head. I pondered deeply and really reflected on the meaning of the word “support”. As I did, the thought struck me. How often in our lives do we need the support of others? In my mind, at any great undertaking we attempt in our lives, we need so much support.

When we first try to walk, we have our parents' hands to support us. As we climb on our bikes for our first ride, they are there to keep us from falling. All through the years of childhood and school, they are with us each step of the way. Our coach pushes us on to great triumphs and our best friend is there when our first crush ends in heartbreak. When we finally find “the one”, who is there but our maid of honor (or best man) to get us through cold feet and stand by our side as we say our vows. Once we have melded our life with that special someone, they are our biggest support & constant cheerleader. Sometimes the person who stands by us has been through the very same thing we are experiencing, sometimes they haven’t and can only say “I know it is hard, but I am here for you!”

I believe in the unlimited potential of the human spirit. Mankind as a whole has achieved great things and often, it was done in the face of disbelief and discouragement. However, any time that a person was encouraged, cheered on and believed in, they seemed to do better, work harder and reach their dreams more quickly.

The purpose of labor support is to stand by a laboring woman as she embarks upon one of the greatest tasks of her life. We, as doulas, are there to compliment the physical care she is receiving with continuous emotional and informational support, along with non-medical comfort measures, to help facilitate the best birth possible.

Our responsibility, as a doula, is three-fold:

One, we are to help our client educate herself, so that she can make informed decisions about her body & her baby.

Two, we are with her continuously while she labors, using our training, intuition and inborn “mothering” instinct to encourage her and ease her discomfort. We cheer her on, give her advice, and are on her team no matter what! At times, we must even remind her what her labor vision was and why she is there, because labor can be so intense & overwhelming that she no longer see the goal. We cannot labor for our client or make decisions for her, but we can be a guide through the ever-surprising realm of labor & birth.

Three, after her baby is born, we promote to a sense of accomplishment in her labor, no matter how it all played out, and help her bond with her baby, so their relationship can start off as healthy as possible.

We are also there to assist other members of her family, especially her partner, in being an active part of her birthing team. Sometimes loved ones want desperately to help, but they either don’t know how to help or their efforts are inadvertently counter-productive. We can provide gentle direction on how they can best support the laboring mom.

Also, the birth of a new baby not only changes the woman who is in labor, but it changes the people in her life. It is the birth of a new family, no matter if it is the first child, the tenth child or a child that will be adopted. The family changes and is new again. It is our job to help ease that transition as much as possible.

The value of labor support is almost impossible to measure. I believe that the value is defined by each client. The “purpose” and the “value” of labor support really are 2 sides of the same coin. The first tends to be more concrete, with the ability to put boundaries and guidelines on it. The second is more ethereal, ever shifting in its definition birth by birth.

How does a birthing woman view the value of her doula? How does she see the person who has stood by her side for hours of tiring labor or the few crazy moments of precipitous labor, the person who has held a pan as she puked through transition or held her hand as her baby is born caesarean section, the person who has been her constant companion when her soldier husband cannot be there or who is the only person there when she is a single mom with no one else? If she has had the support of a doula who is 100% there for her, I believe she values her doula as a person who helped her unlocked the power she already possessed, empowering her to first, birth and then later, mother her child.

This empowerment was traditionally passed down from one generation of women to the next, for centuries. Sadly, it was something that seemed to be lost in the past 100 years. However, slowly but surely women are taking back their power.

I hope myself and my fellow doulas, along with the doctors, midwives, mothers, grandmothers, sisters, aunts and friends of this new era of women, assist them every way we can, on this long, yet crucial journey. Labor support is just one piece in a collage of people who should surround a laboring woman each time she transitions into motherhood.



Tuesday, December 8, 2009

Why A Doula is Better Than Your Best Friend

This woman has written an excellent article on why EVERY woman should have a doula!

Why a Doula is Better Than Your Best Friend

Friday, July 10, 2009

Pit to distress part 2

This is a great follow-up to the article I posted yesterday. The last sentence says it all!


Pit to Distress 2

Wednesday, July 8, 2009

Pit to distress??? What the heck?

Any man or woman who has any contact with pregnant women should read this blog. I could rant for pages about what I just read, but this author does a much better job:

Pit to Distress? Your ticket to an "Emergency Cesarean?"

Tuesday, June 30, 2009

Attention, please!

Ok, I do not understand how some adults can not pay attention to what is going on in a group of kids.

I was at work yesterday (watching the 2 munchkins I nanny) and a friend had come over to play. Now, the kids I watch are a 5 year old girl and a 2 year old boy, and this friend was a 9 year old girl, so I thought "Cool, this kid is older, watching her should be a breeze". Wrong! This little girl needed to be instructed just a tad...on not provoking other kids, on telling the truth, and on not back-talking adults. :-O Of course, it wasn't my job to do that, but I sure would have liked to film her actions and play it back for her parents!

Do parents just not pay attention any more?? When I was a kid, if I went to a friend's house, I was always on my best behavior...at the least, when the adults were around! I knew if their parents or my parents saw me misbehaving, I was in serious trouble. However, this little girl seemed oblivious to the fact that I was within 20 feet of her at all times and could see/hear everything she did with the other kids. It's as if she didn't expect to be reprimanded for bad actions! Well, I think I surprised her a little. :-) I was my usual calm, poised nanny self, but I made it very clear lying to me and intentionally aggravating the other kids was not acceptable behavior.

So my plea is: Adults! Please pay attention! In this age of multi-tasking, I would think we are all skilled to do at least 2 things at once. Yes, have that conversation with your friend, but keep one ear open to the little tots fighting over the toy. Often the loudest kid is NOT the culprit. Sure, read that book you can't put down, but at least peek over the pages occasionally to see WHY the kids are yelling at each other, not just tell them to quiet down...or worse, (this is my personal pet peeve), IGNORE THEM COMPLETELY! ??? Trust me, it's not going to get any quieter just because you pretend it isn't happening. Plus, you are probably going to over-react once your "noisy kid" tolerance level has been breached!

We are raising the next generation here! Children are not just fashionable accessories...you know, "I have to have one, just like all my friends". They are a glimpse of our future. Let's treat them accordingly!

Saturday, June 27, 2009

Great page with a ton of pregnancy links

My mom just sent me this link and I am amazed at all the great links that are on here:

http://www.heartofwisdom.com/heartathome/2008/06/26/pregnancy-and-childbirth-links/

I am also going to add this to my links >

Friday, June 26, 2009

Here we go...

Well folks, my family and friends have been telling me I should start a blog, so...since I have already succumb to Facebook and Twitter as well as my own website, I thought "what the heck!" Welcome to my musings!

A little bit about yours truly: I am a 20-something gal who has had some interesting adventures in my life so far. I have been a nanny/au pair for quite a few years, here in the States a couple of times and also for 2 years in the beautiful country of Switzerland. Ah, die Schweiz! I am also a DONA-certified birth doula and a montrice-in-training. I find it such an awesome privilege to witness the birth of new life into the world. On top of that, I am the wife of a wonderful husband, oldest of 6 kids, homeschool graduate and world-traveler. :-)

This interesting mish-mash of experience has left me with some thoughts and opinions. I hope you find them stimulating and thought-provoking!